EntertainmentHub: The Portland Mercury - Comedy

The Portland Mercury - Comedy

Edit

Unfollow

Savage Love: The Finish Delegation

by Dan Savage Oct 3, 2023

This guy thinks his controlled premature ejaculations are HOT—but does he need to let his partners know? by Dan Savage Cis bisexual guy here in his 20s. In the entire time I’ve been sexually active, I’ve pretty much been able to finish whenever I’d like. I’ve literally never once finished too quickly. That said, the idea of being unable to hold back my orgasm and coming too quickly has always been a big turn on for me. So much so, that in more than a few past relationships/hookups, I’ve found myself inducing a premature ejaculation. Some partners are kind and supportive about it, some seem a little annoyed or bothered. Both reactions are equally hot to me! It doesn’t happen every time I have sex, and I’m always down to take care of my partner’s orgasm in other ways either before or after the penetrative sex has come to its brief conclusion. I’m not so much worried about if my kink is normal, but is it ethical? I haven’t told…

[ Read more ]

Good Morning, News: Rash of Overdoses Underscores Fentanyl Crisis, Trump Gets Testy in Court, and 104-Year-Old Woman Jumps Out of Plane For Fun

by Courtney Vaughn Oct 3, 2023

by Courtney Vaughn

The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support!

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! It’s “Hell” day, AKA the release date of Sleater-Kinney’s new single. The longtime Portland band just dropped a new video, featuring former Rose City resident, writer and filmmaker, Miranda July. The band is set to release a new album, Little Rope, in January.

In Local News:

Portland Fire & Rescue, along with Portland Police, reported eight overdoses in one day in the Pearl District, all suspected to be fentanyl-related, and each involving young adults in their late teens and early 20s, many of whom likely thought they were using cocaine. Police said four people were taken to a hospital and four others refused treatment. All of them are expected to survive. Monday’s incidents are the latest in a slew of recent overdoses, many of them fatal, including reports of children being poisoned after being exposed to the substance.

Press Release: Officers Respond to Multiple Overdoses in the Pearl District
Link: https://t.co/KZkU5cyTT2 pic.twitter.com/qY2RKrZblQ
— Portland Police (@PortlandPolice) October 2, 2023

Middle school students in Tualatin are back at school today, after a bomb threat led school district officials to evacuate Hazelbrook Middle school last Friday, and cancel classes Monday. The bomb threat named district officials and school board members. School leaders think it might be related to a recent viral video that showed a student violently attacking another student.
It's Wing Week! That means more than 60 eateries are hooking you up with delicious renditions of wings (vegan options available at some sites) for just $8. Click here and dive in. Chow!
If you haven’t had a chance to catch our interactive comedy game show, Two Evils, I pity you, but there’s still time to turn your life around. Hosts Kate Murphy and Arlo Weierhauser are innately funny, with just the right amount of neuroses, nerdiness and improvisational chops to disarm seasoned stand-up comedians. The next show is Wednesday, October 11 at the Siren Theater, with special guest Kyle Kinane. Don’t sleep on this one!

Coming October 11: It's the Halloween-y episode of TWO EVILS—the hilarious comedy game show where YOU can win prizes while laughing your butt off with our super special guest, @kylekinane! (Get those tix quick, it's gonna be a sell out!) 😈🏃‍♀️https://t.co/ELoOlgT3V0
— Portland Mercury 🗞 (@portlandmercury) October 2, 2023

In National/World News:

If you get a strange noise and buzzing on your cell phone this Wednesday, it’s just the government spying on you…err…testing an emergency system. An emergency alert test is set to affect all TVs, radios and cell phones at 11:20 a.m. PT. The scheduled system test will help the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) and the Federal Communication Commission (FCC) make sure their alert systems work in the case of emergencies like natural disasters.

IMPORTANT: On Wednesday, Oct. 4th at 2:20 p.m. ET, there will be a nationwide emergency alert test on cell phones, wireless devices, radios, and TVs.

This is a standard test that occurs at least once every three years. No action is needed.

Info & FAQs: https://t.co/KKyrIr4e03 pic.twitter.com/xDW92DwcAy
— FEMA (@fema) October 2, 2023

Speaking of disasters, former President Donald Trump–a man who loves bragging rights–can now say he’s the only president to have been indicted four times. Trump was in court Monday in New York, where state prosecutors say he committed fraud by purposely misstating the value of his properties by at least $812 million there. Attorneys and a judge argue Trump inflated the value of his properties to investors, while undervaluing them on tax documents to avoid hefty real estate taxes. If the state’s case doesn’t get shot down in an appeal, Trump could be barred from doing business in New York and have to pay the state $250 million in penalties.
In other Florida man headlines, Rep. Matt Gaetz is making moves to try to replace current House Speaker Kevin McCarthy. A vote on whether McCarthy should vacate the seat is slated to happen this afternoon. McCarthy has taken heat for working with Democrats to avert a government shutdown. Gaetz is the subject of a Congressional investigation into sexual misconduct.
In what might be the most YOLO move ever, a 104-year-old woman from Chicago just set the world record for oldest skydiver. Dorothy Hoffner made the tandem jump Sunday, noting "age is just a number." Reporters said she set down her walker and boarded a plane to make the big jump. This wasn't her first skydive. What a boss!

At 104 years old, Dorothy Hoffner fell.

Then she kept falling, and falling, and falling. And when the lifelong Chicagoan finally touched the ground Sunday, she landed in the history books and became the oldest person to ever sky-dive. https://t.co/m3lo82lY4t
— Chicago Tribune (@chicagotribune) October 2, 2023